Experiencing loss can be heartbreaking. Whether you’ve lost a loved one or something you cherished, navigating life after loss is far from easy. It’s important to recognize the signs of grief, acknowledge your emotions and know that there’s no right way to cope. This understanding can help pave the way to healing.
Grief vs. Grieving
Simply put, grief is the emotion that can feel overwhelming, striking you with the force of a ton of bricks when you lose a loved one. It’s a natural feeling that varies significantly from person to person. Grieving on the other hand, is what happens as we adapt to the fact that our loved one is gone, as we carry their absence with us.
The Stages of Grief
There are five stages to the grieving process, and each person may move through them at their own pace. Some people might go through all the stages, while others may only experience a few. The five stages of grief include: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Some days, grief may feel overwhelming, making daily tasks difficult. Allowing yourself to feel your emotions is essential for healing and moving forward in time.
Grief isn’t linear – you won’t always experience the stages of grief in order, nor are you ever “done” with grief. Dr. Lois Tonkin wrote about “growing around grief.”
At first, grief can feel all encompassing. Over time, your life grows around the grief; life gets bigger and bigger. The grief doesn’t go away or become less significant.
How Long Does Grief Last?
Grieving is a personal process with no set timeline. It might come and go in waves, and while it’s natural for grief to persist, it doesn’t signify regression. For many, intense emotions peak around six months following a significant loss. Remember, this can vary, and your healing pace is uniquely yours.
Grief Awareness: Signs of Grief
Grief can affect you in many ways. Symptoms might be physical, emotional, or behavioral. Here are a few common signs.
Grief Awareness: Physical Symptoms
- Weight Changes: Grief can disrupt your appetite, leading to weight loss if you find yourself unable to eat, or weight gain if you turn to food for comfort.
- Physical Tension: The stress of grieving might cause you to hold tension in your body, which can lead to aches and pains.
- Sleep Disturbances: You may experience insomnia, finding it challenging to fall asleep or stay asleep. Conversely, some people might sleep excessively, finding it difficult to get out of bed.
Grief Awareness: Emotional Symptoms
- Feelings of Depression: Grief can lead to persistent sadness, hopelessness, or disinterest in previously enjoyed activities, causing numbness or social withdrawal.
- Guilt or Anxiety: Grief may trigger guilt or anxiety, making you question if you could have done things differently.
- Mood Swings: You may experience severe mood swings that can feel overwhelming, but know that they are a normal part of the grieving process.
Grief Awareness: Behavioral Symptoms
- Increased Forgetfulness: This can manifest as difficulty remembering appointments, misplacing items, or struggling to recall simple daily tasks, reflecting the overwhelming emotional toll of your loss.
- Withdrawal from Social Activities: You may find yourself retreating from social interactions and activities you once enjoyed.
- Heightened Concern for Others: You may also find yourself worrying more about other people for fear of losing them.
- Talking About Your Loss: Talking a lot about who or what you lost, sharing stories and memories can also be common.
Coping with Grief
First and foremost it can’t be stressed enough: there is no ‘right’ way to grieve. However, learning how to deal with grief in a healthy way may help you get through hard times. Healthy grief involves progressing through emotions, while unhealthy grief halts progress. If you’re struggling to move forward, you may be stuck and need tools to help advance.
Two key factors that can impact how we cope with grief are diet and exercise. Eating well and staying active can bolster resilience during challenging times.
Tools for Moving Forward
Practice Self-Care
Engaging in self-care can be a soothing way to cope with your grief. This includes anything that helps you relax and feel valued, such as meditation, spa days, or immersing yourself in nature. Connecting with the natural world offers profound benefits for health and well-being, providing an emotional reset that also supports healing of the body and mind.
Join a Support Group
Grief support groups offer a comforting space where you can connect with others experiencing similar losses, such as the passing of a spouse, child, or pet, or perhaps the loss of a business or job. Consider seeking out a group that addresses your specific type of grief or a more general support group. These gatherings are typically guided by individuals who understand the nuances of the group’s focus, and they may also be led by professionals like therapists.
Seek Grief Counseling
Recognizing when to seek professional help can be vital, especially if grief leads to prolonged anxiety or depression. Grief counseling can help you work through your feelings of loss. Over time, you’ll learn how to manage your feelings about the loss of your loved one. Remember it’s OK to ask for help at any stage of your journey through grief.
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