Eulogies are commonly shared at most funeral or memorial services. Eulogy speeches are written to pay tribute to the departed by sharing achievements, cherished memories, and meaningful stories. Eulogies can be a comforting part of the healing process, both in the act of writing and sharing with others who understand your grief. 

Writing a eulogy may seem daunting, but sitting down and putting your memories and gratitude on paper can be a cathartic release. There are no rules for writing a eulogy. You may choose to write a eulogy and have someone else read it. The eulogy can be a short funny story or a long emotional poem. The final product simply needs to honor the life of your loved one—however that may look. That’s the only requirement.

Below we’ve created a step-by-step guide to teach you how to write a eulogy. You’ll find answers to common questions, sample eulogies for inspiration, and writing tips to help you get started.

What is a Eulogy?

A eulogy is a remembrance speech given during a funeral or memorial service. These speeches are typically given by close friends or family of the person who passed. At some memorial services, just one person gives the eulogy and at others, multiple people are chosen to share memories and stories. Eulogies serve as an opportunity for reflection as everyone gathers to honor the deceased and gather in their shared grief. 

Writing a eulogy can be a challenging task after losing someone dear to you. You’ll have to gather stories and memories and then share your writing in front of a room full of people. Remember that what makes eulogies beautiful is their opportunity to bring comfort to family and friends who share your grief while keeping the legacy of your loved one alive. With the tips provided below, anyone can write a great eulogy.

How Long Should a Eulogy Be?

Most eulogies are around 5-10 minutes long, or 500-1000 words. Given the brief duration of a eulogy, it’s a challenge to fit someone’s whole life story into that amount of time. The goal is to capture the essence of your loved one’s character and values, not every little detail about their life.

What Should I Include in a Eulogy?

Writing a eulogy is a challenging task after losing someone dear to you. As with all writing, you may start with an extremely rough draft and end up with a piece of writing that you love by the end of the process. Don’t doubt yourself if the first words on the paper don’t feel right. It’s common to have multiple iterations and edits. 

These eulogy prompts can help you draw inspiration:

• A brief overview of their life, including key milestones
• Your favorite memories with them, including a specific anecdote or two
• Details about their relationships with close family and friends
• A favorite story that encapsulates their spirit and personality 
• Any significant accomplishments related to career, interests, or hobbies
• Poems, stories, or songs written by the departed
• Favorite words by authors or poets they admired

Some things to keep in mind:

• Relationship: What was your relationship with this person? How were they seen in the community or by their family? Share experiences that capture that. 
• Duration: Keep it concise. Aim for 5-10 minutes or 500-1000 words. 
• Personal: Enrich your tribute with personal stories and memories. These anecdotes will bring your loved one’s memory to life.

How to Write a Eulogy: Step-by-Step Guide

If you’ve been chosen to deliver a eulogy, you were likely picked because of your meaningful connection to the departed and your beautiful storytelling abilities. Have confidence in yourself throughout this process—and if you begin to feel nervous, rely on the memories you have with your loved one to guide you.

1. Gather Memories

First, create a timeline of your loved one’s most significant life moments—whether getting married, having children, details of their noteworthy career, a lifetime of travel, or their involvement and dedication to their community. Seeing a timeline of their most important life moments on paper will help you identify what stands out as worth highlighting. 

To call memories to mind:

• Read old letters, emails, and text messages
• Revisit memorabilia
• Return to special places that hold memories
• Watch family videos and look through old photos

Try writing down all the words you would use to describe them and their personality. You may decide to include some of these descriptors. Taking the time to write down what you cherished about their character and your life together will bring back specific memories about them.

If you’re stuck, ask yourself and their friends and family these questions:

• What were some of their favorite experiences with them?
• What was their favorite hobby, song, or book? 
• Did they have a mantra or quote that they loved?
• What heartwarming stories capture their essence?
• Are there places or times of year that always remind you of them?

Gathering ideas from different sources will help you identify a common thread or theme to tie the pieces of your eulogy together.ou identify a common thread or theme to tie the pieces of your eulogy together.

2. Draft the Eulogy

When you sit down to write your first draft, write as you talk, and let the words come naturally. The most important part is to focus on how and why they were important to you; eulogies don’t need to be polished and perfect. You will edit and restructure as you go. Don’t be afraid to step away from your draft and come back to it with fresh eyes. The important thing is to just get started. Don’t wait until the last minute.

Once you’ve created a good first draft, share it with friends or family members for their input. Outside input can help fill in the blanks. During your editing process, remember the focal point of your eulogy—whether that be their adventurous spirit or their gift as a good listener—and make sure your anecdotes bring those traits to life.

Writing a meaningful eulogy for someone dear to you can be an extremely emotional process, but also a beautiful and cathartic one. It’s a chance to reflect on treasured memories from over the years and keep those memories alive even after your loved one is gone.

3. Practice with Friends and Family

Once you’ve written a eulogy that you’re proud of, practice reading it in front of friends or family. Eventually, you’ll need to speak the words you’ve written so it’s best to practice a few times before the memorial service. Have one of the observers time your speech so you know roughly how long it will take. It’s normal to speak faster than expected, so make sure you take time to breathe and slow down.

Ask pointed questions about the areas you think may need work. This may sound like:

• Did I talk too fast?
• Was any section confusing?
• Is there anything you’d add?
• Do you remember that story the same way? 
• Does this honor their memory?

Make sure you read the eulogy to someone who will give you constructive feedback so you know where to refine and make edits.

4. Edit and Repeat

Sometimes you’ll find that your writing doesn’t sound how you thought it would when you say it out loud. After practicing with friends and family, make necessary edits to the eulogy for tone and flow. Make edits to the areas you were given feedback on and repeat the peer review process until you feel it’s ready for the memorial.

5. Read at the Service

The day of the memorial service can be difficult for many reasons. Saying goodbye to a loved one is hard enough, but giving a speech can also cause stress. If memorizing your speech feels too overwhelming, it’s ok to read from a script. Remember, that you’ve been chosen as the best person to share your loved one’s eulogy. No one in attendance will notice or fault you if you make a mistake. Give yourself the same grace that you’d give others in this situation.

When speaking, make sure you take time to pause and catch your breath. It’s common to speak quicker when we’re nervous. Taking time to pause and breathe will look natural to the audience. Take time between sentences and paragraphs so people can reflect on what you’ve said before rushing to the next point.

Don’t let fear overcome the love you shared with the departed. You’ve worked hard on the eulogy and you’re ready to share it with others.

6 Eulogy Examples for Loved Ones

Every eulogy and relationship is unique. We’re unable to capture the true essence of your loved one, but these examples can be a great starting point.

Eulogy for a Parent

Example:

Since I was a little girl I’ve emulated my mother. From wearing her high heels to creating fake lesson plans so I could teach my brother in my pseudo classroom in the kitchen. As I grew older my affection for her grew, only taking a brief pause during the angst of middle and high school. 

After college, I began to find comfort in the same hobbies she tried to impart to me as a child. Things I used to hate like walking in the woods, snowshoeing on snow-filled bogs, and canoeing local rivers became my new happy place.

Now that she’s gone, I will return to those places that gave us both comfort. Always knowing that she’s there—watching over me and telling me to get back before dark. 

Eulogy for a Partner

Example:

One of my favorite things about my wife was the way she loved birds. Most of us pay no attention to these small creatures, but she observed every wing flutter that went past her. She could stand in a field for hours watching their flight patterns and listening for their calls. At first, I wanted to quicken her pace, growing tired of all the moments we wasted staring at the sky.

As we grew older together, I understood her need for this solitary reprieve from society. I began wanting to follow her out into those fields to see the joy flicker in her eyes. What I would do to spend one more moment in a field with her—holding her bird book or listening to her attempt bird noises to attract them our way. 

I will never see birds the same way again. They will always be my wife. Soaring above the world’s problems. Tuning in to tune out. I hope wherever she is now gives her that same peace. 

Eulogy for a Grandparent

Example:

Everyone here knows that my grandmother was an avid reader. When you walked into her home the floors and countertops were always filled with her latest novel or autobiography. I always wanted to impress her with a great book, but she knew what she liked and I rarely got it right. 

One of my favorite memories was when I gifted her one of my own favorite books, The Overstory by Richard Powers. I was so nervous that she wouldn’t like it, but to my surprise she loved it and it became one of her staples—lining the countertops with her other favorites. 

I will always think of my grandmother when I open a book. In all of her favorites, she underlined the words that meant something to her. Tracing my fingers over those very lines brings me closer to her even when she’s gone. 

Eulogy for a Sibling

Example:

When my parents first told me I’d be getting a baby brother I was less than thrilled. In fact, I believe my response was “You’re ruining my life!” As we got older my brother became my best friend, my backpacking buddy, and even my roommate a time or two. 

Now I’m only left with our memories. Like the memory of him breaking his foot when we were jumping on our parent’s bed and our trips around Europe once we got older. I also remember the bad memories, like when he forgot me in Amsterdam. Something only someone as forgetful as him would do. 

My brother was my favorite person in the world. Saying goodbye to him was never the way things were meant to be, but here we are — and for him, we will go on. 

Eulogy for a Friend

Example:

Today, we gather to celebrate the life of Jill, a truly remarkable friend. We shared countless adventures—from spontaneous road trips to late-night deep conversations that shaped who I am today. 

Jill’s humor and kindness were infectious, always knowing how to brighten even the darkest days. She listened without judgment and offered support with unwavering loyalty. Her ability to find joy in the simple things is a lesson that stays with me. 

Thank you Jill for the laughter, wisdom, and love you brought into my life. You may be gone, but your spirit lives on forever.

Eulogy for a Pet

Example:

It’s hard to believe I never wanted a dog. Laszlo became more than a pet, he was a beloved family member and loyal companion who filled our days with laughter and love. From chasing his own tail to somehow finding the squeakiest toy in the store, Laszlo’s antics never failed to bring smiles to our faces.

His unconditional love was boundless, greeting us with a wagging tail and boundless joy every time we walked through the door. Laszlo’s companionship was a gift, enriching our lives in ways words can’t fully capture.

Eulogy Writing FAQs

Leave a Beautiful Legacy

If you’re beginning to think about your end-of-life options, Better Place Forests is here to guide you. Whether you’re interested in alternative burial options or want to know what it means to choose a memorial tree as your final resting place, you can book a free online tour with one of our advisors to learn more.