Holidays, birthdays, and anniversaries can bring waves of grief when you’re missing a loved one. This is especially profound the first time these special occasions or death anniversary occur after their passing. For those who have recently lost their father, the first Father’s Day without him can be particularly challenging. Advertisements and store displays may serve as painful reminders of your loss. Furthermore, complex relationships can add layers of sadness.

On such a significant day, it’s essential to be gentle with yourself and honor your need to grieve. Choosing how to remember and celebrate your father is a deeply personal decision. Here are some ideas to inspire you as you make your plans.

1. Be Kind to Yourself 

No matter how you decide to spend your first Father’s Day without your father, ensure you’re taking care of your mental well-being. Self-care activities vary for everyone. Perhaps you find solace in going for a long run, relaxing with a spa day, or enjoying quiet time with a new book. Catching up with an old friend might also lift your spirits.

You may worry that engaging in enjoyable activities means you’re not grieving properly. However, wouldn’t your dad want you to do what brings you comfort? Taking care of your emotional well-being honors your grief by giving you the space to process it.

2. Write a Letter to Your Father 

Grief journaling can be a cathartic way to express emotions. Writing a letter to your father  or expressing feelings in a grief journal can help you work through your feelings. Share recent happenings in your life, favorite memories of him, and what you miss most. This practice can be ongoing, allowing you to maintain a connection whenever you need it.

3. Do Things Your Father Enjoyed 

Spend the day engaging in your father’s favorite activities. Participate in his hobbies, sit in his favorite chair, or enjoy his preferred meal. Read a book by his favorite author or have lunch with his friends, who likely miss him too. Volunteer for a cause important to him or take a nature walk in his favorite spot. Doing things your dad loved helps you feel close to him.

4. Spend Time with a Grieving Friend 

Chances are, you know someone else who is also grieving. Whether they’ve lost their father or a child, Father’s Day can be a difficult time for them as well. Get together and talk about your loved ones. Sharing your grief with someone who understands can be comforting and provide mutual support.

5. Create New Traditions 

If you had special Father’s Day traditions, continuing them might be too painful. Consider starting new traditions to honor your father. Include extended family, his friends, or your children. Whether you’re engaging in a favorite activity of his or trying something new, it’s a special way to remember him.

6. Online Tributes 

Social media can be a way to honor your father by sharing memories and reading comments from others who loved him. However, it may also trigger pain, especially when seeing posts of friends celebrating with their fathers. If you’re not ready for social media, consider creating a memorial website. Post favorite photos, share lists of things he loved, and write blog posts about the lessons he taught you.

7. Memorial Tree

Honor your father with a Memorial Tree that will continue to grow as a living tribute to his legacy. You can choose a tree to preserve and protect a beautiful forest that you and your family can visit throughout the changing seasons and for generations to come. 

Remember, Grieving is Normal

However you choose to honor your father and your grief, know that grieving is normal and perfectly acceptable to do what’s best for you. Grieving and loss look so different for each person and there is no right way to grieve. If you feel like you would benefit from therapy, reach out to a counselor for more help through the process.

For more guidance on coping with loss, read our article on How to Grieve the First Death Anniversary of a Loved One. If you have children, also be sure to read our age-appropriate article on How to Help Children Cope with Grief.