The holiday season can be particularly challenging when you’ve lost someone dear to you. The first holiday without a loved one is often the hardest, as you navigate this period without their presence. Everyone grieves differently, and there are various ways to cope during these times. Here are some thoughtful suggestions that might make the holidays easier and help you process your grief in a healthy manner.
How to Spend the Holidays After Loss
If you usually spend your holidays with the person you lost, figuring out how to spend it without them can be difficult. You can choose to carry on usual traditions or start new ones—do whatever feels best for you and your healing journey.
1. Coping with Loss: Carry On with Holiday Traditions
For some, maintaining the usual holiday traditions can bring comfort. The familiarity of these rituals can provide a sense of closeness to your lost loved one, reminding you of the joyful times you shared. If you typically have large family gatherings, being surrounded by family and friends can offer comfort to help you get through this tough time.
2. Coping with Loss: Create New Holiday Rituals
If continuing old traditions feels too painful, consider creating new holiday traditions and rituals for this new phase of your life. These new traditions can include honoring your loved one by visiting their memorial, saying a prayer for them, or lighting candles in their memory. Such acts allow you to remember them as you adjust to life and holidays without them. These ways to honor a loved one might give you some ideas for new rituals.
3. Coping with Loss: Forgo Holiday Celebrations
Sometimes, celebrating the holidays after the loss of a loved one is simply too painful. Particularly on the first holiday without a loved one, you might prefer not to celebrate. You could book a trip or just spend time at home for a period of quiet reflection. However, just because you’re not celebrating the holidays doesn’t mean you have to be isolated. Having people around for support is important when you’re grieving. Let people know that you won’t be celebrating, but you’d still like to see them.
Ways to Cope with Grief During the Holidays
Regardless of how you choose to spend the holidays, it’s important to allow yourself to grieve in a healthy way. Accept that things will be different this year, and prioritize looking after yourself. Here are some tips for getting through your first holiday without a loved one.
1. Coping with Grief: Let Yourself Feel Sad
Don’t feel pressure to try and be cheerful just because this is a celebratory time of year. The holidays are a difficult time for people, and it’s perfectly natural to struggle emotionally. Trying to hold in your feelings can make you feel worse, so give yourself permission to cry and feel sad if you need to.
2. Coping with Grief: Don’t Feel Guilty for Experiencing Joy
If you do find yourself enjoying the holidays or sharing joyful moments with friends and family, don’t feel guilty. It doesn’t mean that you don’t care or you’re forgetting about the person you’ve lost. As humans, we can feel a whole spectrum of emotions on any given day, and you still deserve to feel moments of joy and happiness when you’re experiencing grief.
3. Coping with Grief: Take Time
During the holidays, we’re often around a lot of people, and all the chatter and obligations can be overwhelming. If you’re feeling emotional or anxious, find a quiet room or go outside and get some fresh air. This can help you feel more grounded and give you some respite from social interaction. If you’re out, it’s also perfectly acceptable to head home for a while if you need some downtime.
4. Coping with Grief: Talk About Your Feelings
Lean on the people in your life to help you get through the holidays. Don’t feel afraid to bring up your grief just because it’s meant to be a happy time. The people in your life will want to be there to support you, and talking about your emotions is an important way to process them. It can also help bring you closer to others who’ve been affected by the loss. While it can be difficult to know what to say about the first holiday without a loved one, you’ll probably find that talking about it with other family members will make you feel more connected and supported.
5. Coping with Grief: Ask For Help
The holiday season can be stressful, especially when you’re grieving. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help if you need it with tasks like grocery shopping, gift wrapping, or holiday planning. Family, friends, and neighbors are often more than willing to lend a hand.
6. Coping with Grief: Explore Grief Counseling
Friends and family can be great support, but if you’re struggling, then consider talking to a mental health professional too. Grief counseling gives you a safe, neutral space to process your feelings and gives you strategies to help cope with your emotions.
Be Kind to Yourself
Remember, the most important thing during this challenging time is to be kind to yourself. Allow yourself to feel what you’re feeling and seek out the support you need. Grieving during the holidays is never easy, but by taking steps to care for yourself and honor your loved one, you can navigate this season with sensitivity and compassion.
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